The grand story.
And we ripped up the ending... and the rules... and destiny - leaving nothing but freedom and choice.
I'm getting ahead of myself.
Let me tell you my story.

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the-calvaree:

this will never not be funny

lifesentences:

goingtopshelf:

punchbuggydragon:

breelandwalker:

irontargaryen:

*cracks neck* my time has come

Okay, first? Pay off all your debts. Take out a small loan and pay it off right away.

Buy several hundred vacant houses. Schedule repairs for said houses with reputable contractors and make sizable down payments in advance. Get everything in writing and hang onto those deeds.

Buy a large open parcel of land that is being auctioned for development. And when I say large, I mean LARGE.

Sink millions into paying off people’s Kickstarters / college loans / medical bills / mortgages, and give generously charity organizations. That alone will carry off a lot of money.

Once you’ve got things down to a reasonable level, say $1m, buy yourself a house, furnishings, appliances, and a dependable car. Pay everything off so that you own it free and clear. Purchase about $200k worth of something easy to liquidate (i.e. gold, gems, bonds, stocks). Put the rest onto prepaid credit cards and wait for Monday to roll around.

NOW THE FUN BEGINS.

You now have commendable credit and a shining public reputation.

Fix up and flip those houses, sell them for fair market value or below to families who need them, or create non-profit homeless shelters. (After all, it’s not like you need to “make” money, this is all running on the proceeds from the property sales.)

Sell the parcel of land to developers, or donate it to public works as a park or open space. Have them name it after you.

Retire to your fully furnished home. Liquidate your extra assets, or leave them to appreciate in value for a later date. Make Christmas epic with those gift cards. Keep the extra money in the bank and keep your day job.

And don’t worry about taxes when return time rolls around, because you’ll be able to write off several millions’ worth of charitable donations.

Basically this

This is someone who paid attention in finance class. 

I always reblog this just in case this happens. LOL. 

(Source: jxhn-mulaney)

Lafayette: but for that to succeed, there's someone else we need
Washington: I know
Washington: Aaron Burr.
Lafayette:
Washington:
Lafayette:
Washington: *laughs*
Lafayette: *laughs*
Hamilton: *laughs*
The entire US army: *laughs*
Washington: can you imagine

kenobians:

my favorite part of episode 2 is when anakin and obi-wan are in pursuit of someone and they chase them into a club and obi-wan just up and makes a beeline for the bar and starts taking shots in the middle of the mission because anakin has been So Extra lately that kenobi just cannot take it sober anymore

tardis-mind-palace:

kaliforhnia:

Tell him you’re excited to have his last name and then marry his brother

This is some Shakespeare level shade

cheesekneesandbees:

captioned-vines:

1: “Hey, what’s your favorite color?”

2: “Black.”

I swear to god this is the purest thing

(Source: kira-yvkimura)

castielcampbell:

tardimpala67:

#sup

#do you have a moment to talk about my half brother jesus christ

poorbasil:

Someone just sent me this with no comment. I’m fucking screaming!!

rdjpwns:

Who are you?

The new trio from Star Wars: The Force Awakens + bonus Kylo Ren

Rey  |  Finn  |  Poe  |  Kylo  |  Group post

Fun Christmas idea:

edens-blog:

edens-blog:

Hang mistletoe but instead of kissing you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it

Mistlefoe™

(Source: smeliot)

windmills-of-my-mind:

samwinchestergirl67:

deansdickofsuspense:

everykissbeginswithcas:

misha-collins-theoverlord:

Sam and Gabriel’s son

inspired by this post [x]

And his cousin, Dean and Cas’ son

and Micheal and Lucifer’s son

I don’t care how many times I reblog this, It’s beautiful.

Did fall into the pit or is it just hot in here 

ladysaraharper:

micdotcom:

Watch: Their interaction is enough to turn even the grinchiest Grinch into a total holiday believer.

@swarleybradbury

(Source: mic.com)

pafhan:

Sterek AU in which Fireman!Derek got hurt on the job and Cop!Stiles was not happy.

Inspired by and for finduilasclln because of reasons :3

edwardspoonhands:

drowningz:

grapes-of-plath:

epitomeofnerd:

theendofaspark:

this is never going to not be funny 

Rob Lowe says “that is fucking hilarious” with the straightest face ever

Bless you, Chris Pratt

This is the hardest I’ve laughed in so long

♫♫That’s not something that props can fix…that’s gonna be a little harder to fix.♫♫